sorakh28: Cropped, modded screencap of the Fire Emblem OVA. (jukebox brain)
[personal profile] sorakh28
Sora: ...Please tell me your wings are going to be okay.
Pit: They should. ...We could use extra pillows to support them.
Dark Pit: THIS MATÉ IS DELICIOUS.
Lysandre: I still don't understand why I'm here.
Louise: Dad needs me back at the restaurant! Someone could choke or fall on something and I'll miss it!
Sara: ...you like horrible things too much, kid. You should scare me, yet you're one of my favorites.
Sora: What, like Cori Falls isn't horrible?
Pit: ...Wait, we're doing Cori Falls?!
Dark Pit: *almost spits out his Maté* What?!
Sara: ...point, set and match. *sigh* And yeah, we are. I'm sorry, it's my inner masochist.
L!Rebecca: Masochist is right! *huff* Cori is gross!
Lysandre: Who is this Cori Falls you speak of?
M!Eliwood: Be glad you're not in their particular canon. It is a trainwreck.
L!Hector: Yeah, she does the anime and she turns the main villains into romance novel cliches. She loves woobie villains.
Lysandre: ...is this my punishment for what I did in my own canon?
Pit: If you wanna take it that way, why not?
Dark Pit: ...I still haven't got to play a lick of that game BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL HOGGING THE 3DSES.
L!Dart: Rebecca's been doing that lately. D: All she does is play Pokemon and Rune Factory!
Dark Pit: Try 5 of them and a 2DS.
Sara: @_@ That's a lot.
L!Nino: I'm addicted to A Link Between Worlds. *laughs*
Sora: Where are you right now?
Nino: Near the end. Ravio just talked Hilda down.
Sora: I LOVE THAT SCENE~~!
M!Eliwood: Uh, I'm surprised Nergal hasn't gotten pissed off.
L!Eliwood: Maybe he's asleep on the job!
Nergal: Not a chance! I was letting you get comfortable before I yanked that away from you!
Louise: WHAT?! Okay, I'm going up there! If I can bring Mr. Frond to tears I can handle this guy!
L!Louise: ...oh dear. Three Louise's. This is going to be a little confusing.
Sora: Someone's gonna be called Lulu. Or something.
Louise: Not me! *hiss*
L!Louise: I don't mind~ :3
Sora: Alright, then... I guess we'll have to get to the theater... Also, we might need extra pillows for the angels.
Sara: Got that! *picks up a few of them*
Nergal: Good, I thought I was going to have to yell at you.
L!Priscilla: ...we might need food dishes and litter boxes, too. *has a kitten following at her heels*
M!Priscilla: Awwww, who's this little one?
L!Priscilla: I think she's one of Celica and Alm's babies. They had a whole litter recently.
Sora: ...I thought we fixed them?!
L!Priscilla: Did we? Or did we fix Lune? ...wait. No, this kitty doesn't look like *any* of ours!
Kitten: *is a newbie! Snuck in randomly*
Sara: ...oh my. XD
Nergal: Get in there before I turn your kittens into Magikarps!
Pit: ...I think that's one of ours. Here, Nigredo!
Sara: Oh! He's adorable. :)
Lysandre: ...let's get this over with. *sighs and heads for the theater*
Sora: *comes in with the angels*
Dark Pit: *holding Nigredo*
Louise: *muttering, walking behind everyone else* This is gonna suck. I've seen some of Tina's fanfiction and she's a total perv.
Sara: Trust me. Cori's gonna make you appreciate your sister's work.
Dark Pit: Please tell me this isn't a stage 3 or 4!
Sara: Stage 1. Which is what makes this even more WTF.
Sora: Oh, this must be GOOD,

    >To Denounce the Evils of Truth and Love by Cori Falls @->->-

L!Erk: ...I have a very bad feeling about this one.
Pit: ...Is she seriously quoting their motto as a fanfic title?!
Sara: She does it a lot.
Louise: Truth IS evil! Unless it's coming from a gross nude beach and making people look at old wrinkled-
L!Serra: Ewwwww! D: Knock that off!
Pit: Hey, I see it everyday.

    >Everything was black. From the darkness, a disembodied voice came to us. "I'm waiting for you."

Louise: Oh, YES! This is gonna be a scary story with ghosts and killers! *fistpump*
Sora: *LAUGHS*
M!Eliwood: Oh, if only you knew...

    >Jessie threw her arms around James and pressed herself against him.

Louise: NOOOOOOOO!
L!Vaida: And already I'm wanting to strangle this Jessie.
Dark Pit: *huddles Nigredo close to him* No worries, Nigredo. This isn't going to hurt you at all.
Nigredo: Mewwww...

    >"Come back to me!" the voice called again.
    "Yes...yes...." James whispered as he pulled away from Jessie.
    "James, what are you doing?!" Jessie cried, grabbing onto the sleeve of his jacket.

L!Guy: *Jessie* She's just trying to get you to join her book club! Have you seen the stupid things they read there?!
M!Ninian: *James* ...What stupid thing?
L!Nils: *Jessie* The kind of romance novels Essie Iceworth reads!
M!Ninian: *James* SHIT. Does that include 50 Shades?
L!Nils: *Jessie* Probably. And "Cherish" by Catherine Anderson.

    >An angry light flashed in James's emerald eyes, and he shoved Jessie to the ground. "Don't you dare come between us!" he snapped.

Louise: And then she kicked his ass! Right?!
L!Lulu: ...oh, dear. I wish I could tell you what you wanted to hear.
Pit: ...His eyes aren't even emeralds! They're just green!
Lysandre: If they were truly made of gemstones, that would be an utter waste of resources.
Dark Pit: You can compared them to emeralds, but they're not the real thing! My eyes is often compared to ruby stars, but they're not.

    >"James...."
    He turned away from her.
    Suddenly, the pale, wispy figure of a woman materialized before us. "Return to your beloved!" she said, extending her hand to James.

M!Eliwood: *Pit* SHIT IT'S PANDORA WHERE'S THE DAYBREAKER.
Dark Pit: ...Let's not talk about her.

    >"Yes...I'm coming...." he murmured as he took a step towards her.
    "James! No!" Jessie cried.

L!Sain: *Jessie* Don't have sex with her! She'll set you on fire afterwards!
M!Nils: *singing* This James is on fiiiiiiiiiiiire!
M!Kent: WOW.
Louise: Fire?! Where?!
Sara: Easy now, nightmare fetishist. :P

    >She jumped to her feet, but as she intercepted James, the strange woman reached over and placed her hand on Jessie's forehead. Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light, and Jessie crumpled to the floor.

L!Raven: *Jessie* OWwww! Migrane!
Dark Pit: *Jessie* OH GOD I HAVE ALL OF JAMES MEMORIES JSKLFJASDKL;DFJ
L!Ninian: *Jessie* All I see here are donuts and bottlecaps and HOLY CRAP JESSIEBELLE.
M!Sain: *singing* This brain is on fiiiiiiiiiiiire!

    >"Jess, are you okay?!" I cried, racing to her side.
    Jessie looked at me and trembled. "James...." she whimpered

L!Lucius: *Meowth* No, I'm Meowth. James has blue hair.
Dark Pit: ...Nigredo, what's wrong?!
Nigredo: Mrow! *wants to walk around! This is boring!*
Dark Pit: Just don't go too far. *puts him down*
Nigredo: *stays close by, prancing about and exploring the theater*

    >But the woman gave no reply. She just held out her hand to James again and said, "Come back to me, my love...you're mine forever...."
    "I'm yours forever," James echoed as he stepped past Jessie's dead body and reached for the woman.
    "Whaddaya' doin', James?!" I cried, grabbing onto his leg and pulling as hard as I could. "She just killed Jessie, for God's sake!!!"
    "I don't care," he muttered, kicking me away. "I don't care...."

Pit: *gets up* THAT WAS NOT IN THE FREAKING SHOW!
Sara: It's the What You Didn't See Format. Except James wouldn't be stupid enough to claim he didn't care Jessie was dead, unless he wanted Jessie's angry ghost haunting him for the rest of his life.
Sora: Is this thing being skipped? I don't even recall Jessie being killed or...

    >James and the woman embraced.
    "You belong to me," she said.
    "Yes...I belong to you...." he repeated. The woman pressed her lips against his, and there was another flash of light. Then, James fell to the floor next to Jessie.

Lysandre: ...so the ghost killed off two incompetent Team Rocket members, then?
M!Lowen: You think they're incompetent in CANON...
L!Marcus: Later in the timeline they get a bunch of promotions and bonuses but still do nothing except pal around with their buttbuddies. And see Lord of the Rings movies. And eat a lot of food.
Sora: I just- the more she drives away from canon, the more it doesn't make sense Pokémon logic-wise!
Sara: Exactly! And that's not even going into the way she treats Ash.

    >"No...no...dis can't be happenin'!" I whispered as I looked upon the lifeless bodies of my two best friends, lying at the feet of this monster.

Nigredo: *sticks his tongue out at the screen before going over to nom on cat food*
Pit: Well, being a divine cat, it makes sense that Nigredo here understands the words...
Dark Pit: I think I kinda rubbed off him. ...I DID saved him from when he was still mortal.
L!Ninian: Awww... :3 So cute!
Dark Pit: Isn't he? He's my second cat- I have a bakeneko by the name of Niwa Toshi.
Louise: Bake-neko? What's that? A baker kitty or something?
Pit: Well, no. It's a mythical cat, and it's not a bakeneko. It's a nekomata, actually.
Dark Pit: Get those two confused.
Louise: Ohhh...

    >"All who interfere will die," she said, turning to face me. Her eyes were black, empty sockets, and looking into them made my blood run cold! "Now you will join them, cat!"

L!Farina: Aaaaah! Run, Meowth, run before you wind up dead on Mt. Silver next to Gold's corpse!
L!Fiora: ...I think you've been reading too much creepypasta.
M!Hector: I freaking hate Ben Drowned.
Sara: That one ran on too long. At least Sonic.EXE was funny when it was sporked.
Sora: I think it's mostly because of the outcome of the whole MAJORA'S MASK FOR 3DS that's going insane as of late.
Sara: I think Queenie's been discussing that on Tumblr.
Sora: Yeah. Totally agreeing with her on everything. Worst part is, I LOVE Majora's Mask, and I hate the rep it has now. Kinda miss the old days it was the cool thing to hate.

    >Not wanting to share their fate, I turned and ran as fast as I could. The woman gave chase, her ethereal form flying after me.
    I ran until I reached a cliff by the shore of the sea. Looking down at the jagged rocks and crashing waves hundreds of feet below, I realized that I was trapped! Then, I felt the icy grip of the her hand on my tail....

Lysandre: If she remembered to wear her gloves, her hands would not be cold.
Sara: ...your sense of humor needs work. *pets him*
M!Florina: Yeah, well, for some people, having gloves doesn't stop.
Sara: Yeah, like anyone who lives in a really cold place?
L!Fiora: Essentially.
Sora: ...Wintertime... *shudders*
Sara: Cold hands are one thing I dislike about winter. D:

    >@->->- I awoke in a cold sweat and found myself floating in a small barrel, crammed next to Jessie and James. They were both sound asleep.

L!Matthew: And snoring. Loudly.
M!Guy: *Meowth* MY KITTY EARS!
L!Serra: *Meowth* Knock it off before I throw ya both in the water!
M!Serra: This cat's in the wateeeeeeeeeeer!

    >"Whew! Whadda nightmare," I said, breathing a sigh of relief. What a nightmare, indeed! That was the third time in a row! I'd been having the same horrible dream every night since leaving Porta Vista.

Louise: Could be worse. He coulda had the BUTT nightmare like Mom kept having from Aunt Gayle's paintings!
M!Eliwood: ...So that was a DREAM?
L!Lowen: Apparently!
Sara: Don't worry, it'll all be explained. Stupidly. D:
M!Eliwood: ...Oh good lord.

    >What could've been causing it? Maybe it was my encounter with that giant Tentacruel three days ago.

L!Lulu: No, then you'd be dreaming of giant ropes and licorice whips beating you up.
M!Eliwood: ...Is he dreaming about the FUTURE?!
Louise: I hope so! I wanna see some carnage!
Pit: ...Ugh, I'm already getting a headache about this.

    > My head was still abuzz from him using me as his telepathic communication device! Of course, there were other things, too. I swear, this had to have been one of the weirdest summers of my life!

L!Nino: Even weirder than the one where he traveled with three of his Meowth friends to find a dead body and found himself instead?
M!Nino: Huh?
L!Nino: It's some movie the author's heard of a million times... "Stand By Me". It's based on a Stephen King book.
M!Nino: That would explain why.
Sora: Never read any of King's work.
Sara: Me either, but I read a lot of TVTropes. And I saw the Family Guy episode that parodied three of his stories.

    >Ever since the three of us climbed aboard the St. Anne, it's been one misadventure after another! First of all, the ship capsized and sank to the bottom of the sea!

Pit: *sighs and holds his forehead* OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO BE A MISADVENTURE FOR YOU GUYS.
Sara: It was a weird summer for the heroes, too, you know.
Lysandre: A luxury cruise sinks, wasting valuable resources and killing many people most likely. Such a waste...
Pit: Considering that Team Rocket planned to take over the cruise to capture Pokémon for their greedy needs...

    > Then, to make matters worse, we were attacked by a bunch of Gyrados after we escaped!

L!Wil: Because James KICKED A MAGIKARP.
Dark Pit: HE DID WHAT?!
M!Hector: As if we needed more proof he doesn't have Pit's memories...
Sara: He did, and it was canon. And that made Magikarp get pissed and evolve.
Lysandre: ...kicking a Pokemon. Disgusting.
Dark Pit: ...But... BUT MAGIKARPS DOESN'T DESERVE THAT KIND OF ABUSE! That only leads to angry Gyarados!
L!Lulu: *pets him a little*
Pit: ...Yeah, he's me, alright.

    >And if that ain't enough for you, Ekans, Koffing, and I actually had to team up with the Ketchum kid's pokemon after we were all separated from the humans in the wake of that Gyrados attack!

Sara: Cutest episode ever!
M!Priscilla: ...And wasn't Ekans and Koffing okay with teaming up with them because they only do bad things because their trainers order them to?
L!Lucius: Yes, exactly. Pokemon only do what their masters tell them to and Meowth didn't understand that.
M!Priscilla: Well, Meowth isn't a normal Pokémon to begin with...
L!Lucius: True.

    >Then, once it looked like things were finally getting back to normal, James had to dress like a bikini girl with Jessie and enter some swimsuit competition for cash and prizes! (The scariest part about dat was, he actually looked better den mosta the REAL girls...and dose pump-up breasts still creep Meowth out!)

L!Lyn: And that was one of the funniest things ever!
L!Farina: *mocking Cori logic* But like, James CAN'T look girly, cause he's totally Jessie's manly knight!
Pit: I can pass off as a girl!
L!Lucius: ...I've been mistaken for one.
L!Guy: I'm only lucky Matthew never made me dress up as one for his amusement!
L!Matthew: Come on, I'm not THAT much of a sadist. :P

    >And then, of course, there was that Tentacruel.

L!Legault: *Meowth* our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
L!Heath: ...what.
Pit: ...What?!
Dark Pit: he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Pit: WHAT?!
L!Eliwood: ...I believe this is called "texts from last night".
L!Hector: And it's pure crack.
Pit: ...This is the part I wish my literacy wasn't at a 4th grader's lately.
L!Ninian: *pets him*

    >Boy, would I be glad when this summer finally came to an end! I don't know how much more I could take!

M!Eliwood: Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sara: *snicker*

    >Suddenly, I heard mumbling and felt someone stirring beneath me.

L!Serra: *James* All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dark Pit: i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Pit: *SO FREAKING LOST*
L!Canas: *Tries to educate him on the basics of drunk texts*

    >"Ugh! Get off my face, you stupid cat!" Jessie growled, shoving me to the side.
    "Well, good mornin' ta you, too!" I said sarcastically. (I really wanted to Fury Swipe her, but watchin' her die in dat nightmare made me think better of it.)

L!Priscilla: *Meowth* But then I thought "who cares, it was just a dream" and scratched her anyway. I'm gonna run like hell when we get to dry land!
M!Sain: *Meowth* Or fart. I've got gas...
Sara: *Meowth as Peter Griffin* I haven't held in a fart this long since the nonstop train from Quahog to Nevada!
Mittens: *makes burping noise* Meow!
Lune: *boops him* Silly.

    >James shifted in his sleep and rolled over onto Jessie. "Don't wake him up," she whispered, casting a venomous glare at me.

L!Rebecca: *Jessie* He'll get all disoriented and start asking where his pants are, and he doesn't know I threw them overboard yet!
Pit: So he's only in his underwear? ...What does he wear as his underwear?
Sara: In Coriland, black silk or royal blue silk boxers. And the black ones have roses on them.
Pit: ...Oookay?
Dark Pit: ...Hey, Nigredo? Where are you?
Nigredo: *curled up on a spare seat, taking a catnap* ZZzzzzz

    >Now, that was another weird thing I'd noticed. Jessie and James had been inseperable lately! I mean, sure they always hug and stuff, but ever since the St. Anne incident, it's like they'd become siamese twins! That night after we escaped from the ship, I even saw James sleeping on Jessie and using her butt for a pillow...and she didn't mind!

L!Florina: Oh boy, we're headed into shipper!Meowth territory.
L!Lyn: *Jessie* I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
M!Ninian: *Miyamoto* Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
L!Nino: *Jessie* I think so? I found a pair of boxers there last night...

    >And it was no different now. The three of us had been cramped together in a leaky barrel for the last seventy hours, and the only one who was getting a hard time about it was Meowth!

Dark Pit: I wonder how it leaked, if you know what I mean.
Pit: ...SERIOUSLY?!
Sara: It's probably old and cracked and Team Rocket has bad luck.
Mittens: Or one of the humans did something dumb!
M!Kent: I wouldn't be surprised. This IS Cori Rockets.

    >James didn't complain when Jessie was all over him, and she wasn't complaining now while his head was resting on her breasts! But if I even thought about taking an extra inch of space for myself? All hell would break loose!

L!Priscilla: *Meowth* Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
M!Guy: *Meowth* ...Unless it was one of those fancy cars
Sara: Not gonna lie, sleeping in a limo sounds super comfy. Lots of leg room.

    >Jessie closed her eyes again and ran a hand through James's hair. He sighed contentedly, and she smiled.

Loiuse: *Jessie* Good...he doesn't realize my fingers are coated in a lethal substance that'll turn him bald! Hahahahahaha! Oh and it'll also make him die.
M!Vaida: ...Can I adopt you?
Louise: Mom might put up a fuss about it, but okay!
M!Heath: *chuckles*

    > What was going on here? Did I miss something?! Could it be that the two of them had finally wised-up and realized that they belonged together?!

L!Lowen: *Jessie* He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
M!Nino: *Jessie* Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
M!Jaffar: *James* You're the best girlfriend ever.

    >I could only hope.
    Slowly, James opened his eyes. And let me tell you, his face turned as red as his roses when he realized where it was buried!

L!Heath: *James* Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Lysandre: ...is it my imagination, or is this story becoming more amusing with these texts? Or am I just wishing they were the actual dialogue?
Dark Pit: It's probably both.
Pit: Still confused.
Lysandre: I imagine a complete innocent would be.

>"Hey! Ya crushin' Meowth!" I shouted when I felt the heel of his boot come down on my tail.

Mittens: *hiss!* Bad human!
Nigredo: *meow? Waking up, wonders what he missed*
Dark Pit: Hey, there! *pets his kitten*
Nigredo: *purrrr*

    >Well, after several minutes of shuffling about, we finally settled into more comfortable positions. Jessie put her arms behind her head and stretched her legs so that they were draped over the side of the barrel. James crouched next to her, and I just leaned over the edge.

Sara: *Meowth* Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sora: *Jessibelle* I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
Dark Pit: *Jessie* the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Lysandre: *Meowth* Better not let James see that text.
Dark Pit: *Jessie* ...Good idea.

    >"We've really reached the end of our rope," I remarked.
    "No room...no room service...." James moaned.

Louise: *James* Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
M!Florina: You know what's the funniest part? Considering canon, they're ALWAYS at the end of their rope.
L!Ninian: Indeed. But Cori always likes to reiterate or act like it's gone beyond the limit. Just like when she says every time they have sex is "better than ever".
Dark Pit: Which makes no sense!

    >"Stop whining," Jessie grumbled. "At least it beats swimming."
    Well, we certainly couldn't argue that point, so the three of us just sat there in silence until the ship finally made it to port.

Sara: Logic. In a Cori fic. Enjoy this while it lasts.
Sora: I'm enjoying it!
Pit: I'm trying to enjoy it if I know what my brother's talking about!
L!Nils: You poor guy...so confused and out of it. *pets him*

    >@->->-
    "Attention, passengers arriving from Porta Vista," a loud voice blared over a PA system as the three of us climbed out of the barrel. "The town of Maiden's Peak welcomes you to the End of Summer Festival!"

Louise: *aping her dad's voice* Guys, we're gonna try to sell some burgers here and drum up some business for the restaurant! Tina, no flirting, Gene, no farting, Louise, don't kill anyone! And for God's sake, Linda, no musical numbers!
Pit: *perks up* Festival? Like, yukatas and food and dancing and all that stuff?! Wooo! We're in Yamato!
Dark Pit: ...Do you HAVE to reference our fanfics...?
L!Eliwood: Or the Harvest Festival in Awakening! Too bad us as the DLC characters don't have dialogue.
Sora: We have some sort of Harvest Festivals during the Labour Day week back home. There's rides, food, entertainment... lots of stuff. Didn't went last year because of college.
Sara: Lucky! Around here the closest thing we have are street fairs and that's mostly shopping.

    >"A festival!" I exclaimed.
    Jessie chuckled. "People spend a lot of money at these festivals...which means that they drop a lot of change! This is a gold mine!"

Sora: Dude, just get a Leif's Sword and go train in the Ourrealms. Instant gold!
Sara: And take a Barbarian friend with you. Despoil!
Pit: I love Awakening.
Dark Pit: At least it's the only game I can play!

    >Hey! She was right! We'd been outta cash since James wasted all of our money buying that Magikarp, but if we could pick up some loose change in the streets, we'd be back in the black in no time! (Especially since findin' loose change is Meowth's specialty!) Why didn't I think of it?!

Sara: The only game where buying a Magikarp makes any sense is in Black and White, because you actually can't find them normally.
M!Nils: I raised that Magikarp proudly. *nods*
L!Nino: Magikarp evolves into something amazing. IT's always worth the effort!
M!Nils: Also I managed to breed one with Bounce. *grins*

    >"Meowth wanna cotton candy!" I cheered.
    "Money is sweeter," James said, giving me a sly smile. But then, his voice trailed off as he gazed at something in the distance. "OOOOH! Sweet!" I turned and saw that he was looking at a

L!Lulu: Table advertising free samples of sweet crepes.
M!Lulu: A Goldeen fishing game. Because Sinnoh Canon.

    >young woman standing on a pier further down the shore. She was dressed in a long, white gown, and she had a mane of lavender hair that went down to her knees -- it was almost as long as Jessie's!

L!Hector: *girl* Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
M!Pent: I see 'mane', I think lions.
Lysandre: ...Liontree shipping. Hm. *looks pensive*
M!Pent: Pardon?
Lysandre: It's nothing.
Sara: *smiles knowingly*
Sora: I still have a soft spot for Aerialshipping.
Sara: Aww...

    >Sure, this girl was pretty, but I just didn't see why James was suddenly so attracted to her. I mean, why would he be interested in her when he already had a perfectly lovely girl by his side?

L!Florina: Oh boy, obsessive shipper Meowth time.
L!Nils: *Jessie, to James* you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Pit: We angels are beautiful physically by nature, so that sort of attraction doesn't exist for us. It's more a psychological attraction.
Dark Pit: So stop complaining about being ugly in angel asthetics. I told you before, you're handsome!
L!Serra: You're both adorable. <3
Pit: *RED*
Dark Pit: *blushes*

    >(Yeah, I've seen a lotta humans in my day, and if ya ask me, Jessie is the most beautiful woman in the world...but don't ya DARE tell her Meowth said dat!)

L!Jaffar: Great, here come the furry undertones. Or...reverse-furry, as Guardian's Song put it.
M!Jaffar: Venus, Psyche, you've got competition.

    >Besides, there was just something about her.... "Stop daydreaming!" Jessie snapped, smacking James upside the head. She had seen the girl, too, and I swear I heard a hint of jealousy in her voice!

L!Farina: *Jessie* Don't even think about it, James, she's mine!
M!Farina: Wooo, shoujo ai!
Sara: I hate to sound fetishizing but a love triangle between Jessie and James over the Maiden would have at least made this more interesting. Then again, Cori is homophobic so using bisexuality or slash as a weapon against her is justifiable. :P
Dark Pit: Just like Essie?
Sara: Pretty much. Except at least Cori, to my knowledge, never drove unstable teenagers to suicidal episodes. ...I hope not, anyway.
Dark Pit: ...I hate her for that. *scowls*
Pit: ...He's a bit sensitive. *pats his arm* Considering how he was born...
Louise: Essie sounds like someone who needs to die. Or at least be made to eat Jimmy Pesto's food until she pukes herself into a coma.
Sara: Ewww. D: But she is.
Sora: I know how she's gonna react to Noël's gen fic between those two...

    >"I smell money!"
    "I smell corn dogs," I joked, trying to relieve the tension I felt growing between them.
    James cast one last look at the pier, but the girl was gone. He sighed and hung his head. When Jessie saw this, her normally sparkling eyes clouded, as if she were about to cry.

L!Eliwood: Aaand cue the wangst. *eyeroll*
L!Marcus: *Jessie* Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
M!Eliwood: ...Huh?
L!Marcus: I imagined Jessie saying that to James about the maiden. Only switch the gender pronouns.
M!Eliwood: Ahhh.

    >Yeah, something was definitely going on between those two! Could it be possible that they really had fallen in love? They sure had been acting like a cozy couple lately, but then, how would it explain James and that girl?

Sara: *Joe from Shipwar* Threesome!
Dark Pit: ...I enjoy being with Joe. He's awesome.
Sara: He is. :D Snarky and kickass and laid back. Unless he needs to kick someone's ass...someday I wonder if he'll actually kick Essie's.
Sora: I know Marion is willing to slap her.
L!Karla: Who hasn't wanted to slap her? Or done it already?
Pit: I'd pour Kool-Aid over her.
Sara: YES. XD

    >I tried to sort out this complicated web of events as I went with Jessie to the festival and a reluctant James followed close behind.
    @->->-
    "AAAAAUUUUGHHHHH!!!!! I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!!!!!"

Lysandre: *James* Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dark Pit: *James* I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Louise: Cool! XD
L!Dart: *James* was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
M!Nils: *James* I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.

    >Jessie screamed after almost an hour of crawling around in the streets. "I haven't found a thing!"

M!Nils: *Jessie* Not even my virginity!
L!Wil: *Jessie* I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
M!Vaida: *Jessie* I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.

    >"What kinda' cheap festival is dis?!" I snapped. (Hey, if Meowth couldn't even find the money, ya KNOW it was serious!)

Lysandre: Perhaps all the money is dull and lacking shine. Meowths are apparently attracted to shiny things, after all.
Dark Pit: ...Yeah, like Nigredo and my sniping staff. For some reason the glowing globe on it distracts him.
Nigredo: Mew! :D
Dark Pit: You silly thing. *pets him*
Nigredo: *purrrrr*

    >"Not a quarter, nickel, dime...not even a penny!" James whined, holding up his empty hands. Then, as if on cue, he spotted a glint of copper on the dusty road. "OOOOH! A penny!" he cried with delight, snatching it up.

Sora: We don't have pennies in Canada anymore.
Sara: Really? We still have them here, but who knows how much longer? Mom hates them. *laughs* And she's probably far from the only one.
Sora: It costed way too much to make pennies, so...
Sara: So now money amounts are gonna come out as multiples of 5, I assume.
Sora: Yup. It's actually easier since we dropped the penny! ...If you can round up or down, of course.
Sara: Nice.

    >Jessie and I darted to his side and grinned as he held out the tiny copper coin for us to see. (Yeah, we was pretty pathetic if even a penny looked like a treasure!)

Louise: Hey, old pennies from the dark ages can be worth a lot of money!
Sora: I have an old penny that's probably worth a lot.
Sara: I've got pennies from the 50s, they could definitely be worth something.
Sora: ...Speaking of money, somehow I got money from the States. ...Well, there IS a lot of commerce and tourism in the area, but...
Sara: Wow...

    >"Stop right there! I know exactly what you're doing!" a raspy voice said suddenly.

L!Matthew: *Jessie* Oh noes, it's death come to take James from me! Woe!
Sora: ...Wait, is this Ash? I hope it isn't Ash. ...I know it's stage 1, but...

    >Jessie, James, and I turned and saw an ugly old woman standing over us. I don't know what it was, but something about her gave me an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

L!Raven: She should. It's really Limstella in disguise.
Sora: *sighs in relief* See, I kinda describe Ash's voice as raspy... At least, for Frontierverse.
Sara: Aah.

    >"This penny is mine! I dropped it!" James said innocently.
    "You're up to no good...and I see trouble in your future!" the old woman said to James.

L!Oswin: *old woman* He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
M!Hector: Are you sure it's not "Diplomatic immunity"?
L!Oswin: If he was drunk, probably not.
M!Hector: ...Right.

    >"Trouble?" James said nervously. "Who? The police? The sheriff? The FBI?"
    "I see a beautiful woman who will lead you to a cruel fate," she told him.

L!Nino: I wish she'd told Father about Sonia... D:
Dark Pit: ...Does the FBI even exist in the Pokémon world?!
Louise: Who even knows? Tina might, she's the one who watches it and writes erotic fanfiction about it.
Sora: Well, FBI implies that the series is in United States. ...That's Unova. That's like what, 13 seasons after this?
Sara: Cori liked to Americanize her fics, though. :P LOTR, anyone?
Pit: Well, in Japan LotR IS popular.
Sara: True. Still, Pokeverse is...well, Pokeverse.
Sora: It could've been a Pokémon variation. ...Like, instead of the Eagles, it would've been Braviary.
Pit: And Shadowfax could've been a Shiny Rapidash!

    >Cruel fate. Those words echoed through my mind and brought back unpleasant memories of the dream I'd had last night. The woman who had killed Jessie and James looked beautiful before she came for me...could it have been an omen of some kind?

L!Lucius: Of course it is. Dreams are always an omen in Cori's fics.
M!Lucius: Oh hey, evil Hydreigons. Here to turn them into dust?
L!Raven: We can only hope.
M!Nils: Or maybe Yveltal gets to eat them!

    >"I don't need a fortune-teller to tell me that!" James replied sadly. "Some woman is always causing trouble for me!"

Louise: *James* I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dark Pit: *forture teller* Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy.

    >Well, let me tell you! When Jessie heard this, it looked as if she'd been slapped across the face! There was only one woman who was always with James, so there was only one woman he could've been referring to! (And hearin' him say dis so soon after catchin' him lookin' at another girl was just like addin' insult to injury!)

Lysandre: *Jessie* I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Pit: ...*reading on DP's iPad, as Meowth* We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Louise: Man, these three get into some messed up adventures in this context. Maybe one of them's gonna eventually explode!
M!Florina: It's Cori Falls, it's not gonna happen. ...Unless it's us making them exploded.

    >"Who do you mean, James?" she demanded, casting him an angry look. I stepped in front of James before Jessie could whack him one. But as I attempted to defuse the situation....

M!Hector: *Meowth* ...Ash Ketchum ran pass by us chasing some pink Pokémon I've never seen before, laughing like a madman, with only his underwear on.
L!Hector: *Meowth, to Ash* I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
M!Hector: *Meowth, about Ash* He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sara: And Brock and Misty both made a mental note to lock the booze cabinet from now on.

    >"Hold it!" another voice said, cutting me off.

Lysandre: *as himself* You two are wanted for wasting valuable resources. You are hereby under Team Flare's custody until further notice!
Pit: ...I was about to same something similar to it.
Lysandre: ...strange minds think alike?
Pit: Hey, I'm all about the three 'R's myself.

    >The three of us looked up and saw that the old woman was gone. Now, Officer Jenny was standing in her place.
    Uh, oh! Busted!

Dark Pit: *CRACKLES*
Pit: ...*edges away from him*
L!Serra: Eep!
Sora: ...Stop doing that, DP.
Dark Pit: ...Sorry. I had to.

    >"I know what you're doing," Jenny continued, looking down at James. "You found this penny that somebody dropped!"

L!Lyn: *Jenny* And you were gonna put it on a train track! Don't you know that could kill a lot of people?!
M!Lyn: Mythbusters proved that was wrong.
Sora: ...Wait, all of this over a penny.
L!Lyn: Aah. I don't follow that show.
Sara: I know, right?
Sora: Can I smack it?
Sara: Please.
Dark Pit: ...*tries to do puppy eyes*
Sora: OH GOD.
Pit: ...Again. He is me.
Sora: ...What are you gonna use?
Dark Pit: *takes out of nowhere an Orge Club*
Louise: Yeah! Smash it! Break its bones!
Dark Pit: *smashes the projector... and is the closest person to ever almost crush the SHIT outta it*

    >"I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S MADE OF STONE!!! I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH HER!!!" he shouted, turning away from Jessie and leaning out over the railing. "I won't let anybody take her away from me! Not even Team Rocket! I'd do anything to keep her safe!!!"

L!Priscilla: I think we skipped an entire part! But we landed smack in the middle of the romantic wangst.
L!Sain: *Jessie* You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
M!Sain: *Meowth* I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs

    >Jessie winced when she heard this. How many times had he insulted her today? I'd lost count!

Sara: This is where Cori rips all the wangst and pain and melodrama she can out of COMIC RELIEF. Pretty pathetic, huh.
Louise: Well, he said her skirt made her butt look big, her hair looked too 80s, her shoes were ugly, her cooking sucked, her makeup looked like a hooker's...
Sora: *rolls laughing in her seat*
Louise: Thank you, I'll be here all week. XD

    >James leaned out further and reached for the rock, screaming about how much he loved her all the while. To keep him from falling, Jessie grabbed the seat of his pants and tried to pull him back.

L!Guy: Unfortunately she tore them right down the back, exposing his goofy pokeball print underwear.
Pit: ...*quietly* I have a pair...
L!Lulu: Awww...
Dark Pit: You want even cuter? ...I have one with cute Espurr faces.
L!Serra: *squee!*
Sora: Hand made by one of his friends. *nods*

    >"What do you want us to do, James? Steal the rock?!" she said sarcastically.
    "No, but I know somethin' else we could steal!" I said, trying to change the subject.

L!Isadora: *Jessie* Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
M!Isadora: I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
L!Rebecca: *laughs*

    >Jessie released her grip on James and turned to me. "What?" she asked.
    "Rocks may not be worth much, but art is worth a bundle!" I told her. "Let's swipe the paintin'!"

M!Fiora: That better not be a Basquiat they're after!
Sara: Art theft is never okay!

    >"That's a brilliant idea, Meowth!" she exclaimed, rubbing her hands together. "We'll make a fortune selling that painting! Why didn't I think of it?"

Lysandre: *Meowth* You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
M!Lyn: *James* Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
L!Rath: And then Meowth scratched the living daylights out of him.
Mittens: Hell, I would! Dogs suck!
Pit: Hey, now, my dog isn't bad. ...And he might breathe fire on you.
Mittens: *scared meow, hides behind Lune*
Lune: Is it the one with two heads?
Pit: The one. Nigredo loves Pompeii.
Nigredo: Mew! :D

    >"Jessie! Jessie!" we suddenly heard James cry. "Before you grab that painting, grab onto meeeee!!!!"

M!Sain: *James* GHOOOOOOSTS!
L!Renault: And then a ghost-type Pokemon spirited him away to the land of no chairs.
M!Renault: Giratina.

    >We looked and saw that James had leaned so far across the railing that he had fallen over and was now hanging on for dear life. Quickly, Jessie ran and caught him by the hands. (After all the insults and insensitive remarks he'd subjected her to today, I could hardly believe she was tryin' so hard to rescue him! Dat sure struck me as weird!)

Louise: She's just saving his ass so she can kick it later!
M!Eliwood: So... we're sure this is a Stage 1 fic?
Sara: It is. But the melodrama could pass for stage 2.
M!Eliwood: ...What?!
Sara: Yes. Wait till you see what Jessie does later in the fic.
M!Eliwood: ...*sour face*
Sara: *shoulder pat* We'll get through it. By making as much fun of Jessie as we can.

    >Unfortunately, James was too heavy to pull back over the railing, and he fell, dragging Jessie with him.
    "Team Rocket is really slippin'...." I sighed as I watched them both plunge into the water hundreds of feet below.

Louise: And they died! ...no? Hmph, when's something GOOD gonna happen?!
M!Harken: We're the ones who's gonna make something good happen. *throws a Hand Axe at the screen*
L!Karla: *whacks the projector with her Wo Dao, causing it to skip*

    >James, meanwhile, hadn't taken a bite of his dinner. (And dis was really strange, considerin' the fact dat he's always hungry!) He was just stirring the food around in his bowl with a far-off look on his face.

L!Bartre: *Meowth* I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
M!Kent: *James* I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
L!Fiora: *Jessie* And no one was surprised.
M!Fiora: *Meowth* Then again, considering his sheltered childhood...
L!Kent: *Jessie* How tragic.

    >"These noodles...just like the waves of her lavender hair...." he sighed.
    Jessie scowled and threw her bowl to the ground. "I just lost my appetite," she snapped.

Louise: *Jessie* Thanks to you I just imagined I was eating hair! Ewww!
Sora: Yeah, that would be a little disgusting.
L!Wil: And that reminded me of the hair in the apple pie bit from Family Guy.
M!Wil: ...Remember, we don't watch it.
L!Wil: Ah, right. It's a sorta iconic gag, but Family Guy in general is...pretty bad. Sara here considers it a guilty pleasure.
M!Rebecca: Yeah, I kinda gathered.

    >Unable to stomach any more of his behavior, Jessie stormed away with a disgusted look on her face.
    "What the hell is wrong with ya, James?!" I demanded once she was gone.
    "Meowth, I'm in loooooove!" he giggled.

Sara: *Meowth* Aw, crap, Brock's girl-craziness is contagious! We shoulda had him vaccinated!
Sora: *laughs*
Pit: Oh, man, again?
L!Rebecca: *James* I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
M!Rebecca: *James* the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!

    >"But, dat Maiden is dead!" I snapped. "She's been dead fer 2,000 years!"
    "You don't understand...." he said.
    "Yer right! I don't undastand!" I told him. "Yeah, she's cute...I'll give ya dat, but what's the big deal?! Why are ya so infatuated with her when ya got...."

L!Sain: *Meowth* A perfectly good left hand and some Playboys!
L!Kent: Sain!
L!Sain: Hey, Cori puts enough bad images in people's heads. What's a few more?
M!Sain: *Meowth* A freaking hot partner!
M!Eliwood: *Meowth* A subcription to food porn?

    >At that moment, Jessie returned. She had changed out of her Team Rocket uniform, and she was now wearing a long, white nightgown. She had also brushed her hair so it hung loose -- all the way past her knees! I swear, she looked like an angel on earth!

L!Vaida: *gag* Of course.
Dark Pit: ...Can I smack the projector again?
Sara: Go for it, please. We'll skip a failed seduction scene in the process.
Dark Pit: *takes out his Staff and shoots at it*

    >Jessie kept running until she came out of the forest and found herself back at the cliffs by the sea. I kept my distance, not wanting to reveal my presence unless she tried something desperate.

Sara: To recap: James rejected Jessie's seduction and Jessie ran crying beautifully into the woods in a long flowing gown. Who wants to bet Cori's had this happen to her before? Or at least the running away in tears because a boy didn't like her?
Sora: Did Essie ever did it?
Sara: I'll bet. She does have a long white nightgown, so...
Sora: So, uh, here's my question- is TWM real?
Sara: He was. At one point. But he disappeared so he might have been some random dude in a mask.
Sora: Hmm. Maybe we should ask Lexi.
Sara: Good idea. At some point I will.

    >Presently, her feet became entangled in the long train of her nightgown, and she tripped.

Lysandre: Jessie hatched with the Tangled Feet ability.
Pit and Dark Pit: *cracks up*

    >When she hit the ground, she didn't even bother to get back up -- she just laid where she was and kept crying.
    "I should've known this would happen," she said to herself between sobs.

L!Farina: *Jessie* HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
M!Farina: *Jessie* Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
M!Priscilla: How the hell did Ike became James?
Louise: I wish I could do all kinds of damage with just my thumbs!
Pit: I miiiiight?
Louise: ...teach me how.

    > "Every time I bother to care about somebody, they always leave me! It's the story of my whole goddamn life...what made me think things would be any different now?!" She laughed bitterly. "No...no, that'd be too much good fortune! Can't have that, now, can we? Yeah, I'm Jessie, and nothing's ever supposed to go right for me!"

L!Erk: *mimes playing the world's tiniest violin*
L!Nino: *Jessie* Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
M!Jaffar: just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Lysandre: Apparently children's playgrounds are popular places for getting high. I've seen plenty of reckless teenagers do that before...especially outside of Lavarre City.

    >Boy did it sound strange to hear her talk like that! I'd known Jessie for a little over a year now, but I'd never once suspected that her callousness was just a facade that protected a broken soul. (Give dat woman an Oscar, folks! Dat's what Meowth calls a world-class performance!)

Pit: ...*almost about to laugh madly* Wh-whaaaaaat?!
Dark Pit: Easy now...
L!Serra: So...she's basically a ball of wangst underneath a bitchy exterior? I RESENT THAT! As someone who acts like a perky bitch to cover her own bad feelings, I resent that! *huff*
M!Erk: ...Oh, so that's why the other me likes her~!
L!Erk: *BLUSH* W-well, once I got to know she had depth under her bothering me...and that she was just reaching out to me...
M!Erk: *grins*

    >"How could you do this to me, James?" she continued. "How could you leave me for another woman...especially one who's not even real?! Everything I've done for you...everything I've sacrificed...didn't it mean anything?!"

L!Fiora: *Jessie* I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Dark Pit: *sings* And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
L!Matthew: The literal video version of that owns. Especially the shot it took at Lord of the Flies, that book sucked.
Dark Pit: I had to get it out of my system.
Pit: Want me to sing Maroon 5's This Love?
Sara: Eee, that song! :D 2000s nostalgia!

    >Jessie got to her feet again and looked down at her hands, which were still bleeding. "What about the St. Anne, James?"

L!Guy: *James* You mean where you smacked me repeatedly because I got scared?
L!Lulu: *Jessie* I was trying to snap you out of it!
M!Guy: That might've made sense...

    >she cried. "Shit! I almost died for you...I swore I'd always protect you, and you still see me as nothing more than a nuisance...something to be tossed aside the second a prettier girl comes along...."

L!Isadora: ...and I thought I was a crybaby in mine and Harken's supports.
Pit: Dude, everything by Cori Falls is... why did I learned to read again?!
Lysandre: There's more worthy literature out there. Much more.
Pit: I hope so! ...*mumbles about having a hard time even understanding this story because of his reading level*

    >She clenched her hands into fists and started crying again. "I thought you were different, James -- I really thought I meant something to you...I guess I was wrong. You're just like all the other men I've ever known! There's always a prettier girl...always someone better than Jessie...."

Louise: Okay, I've had enough of this whining, even Tina doesn't bawww this much when Jimmy Jr. would rather dance with himself than look at her! *takes a random plate from her pack and smashes the projector with it* Don't worry, it's not anyone's here. I stole it from the restaurant.
Sora: Would it work, thought?

    >She stood on the edge of the precipice and spread out her arms. The night wind began to blow, rustling her hair and nightgown and making her look more like an angel than ever.

Sara: ...well, it skipped Meowth's sobby retelling of his admittedly sad backstory.
Sora: ...Um...
Dark Pit: Uh, I don't think this looks good...
Pit: *GLOOMIEST FACE EVER*

    >And that's exactly what she was going to become if I didn't do something quick!

L!Nils: TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE! *kicks the projector*

    >"James has made his choice. You cannot come between us," the Maiden replied.
    "Like hell I can't!" she retorted.
    "There will be consequences if you interfere," the ghost warned her.

Louise: *Maiden* Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
Pit: *is now under his seat, shaking*
Dark Pit: ...come on, get outta there... *sighs*
Sara: And then Jessie has some stupid melodramatic shoujo-y battle with the ghost and loses and collapses but she doesn't die. *hits the projector again*

    >Slowly, her eyes opened, and she looked up at me with a blank expression on her face.

L!Nino: *Jessie* Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
L!Serra: *trying to comfort Pit* Don't worry, the awful scene is over now. Or at least there's no more melodramatic cliff leaping.
Pit: *still shaking* S-sorry, I don't deal well with that kinda of stuff...
Dark Pit: You never did, have you? *strokes his hair* It's over, Pit. Come on, get out of there.
Pit: *looks at the screen... then hides again* WHY DO YOU MUST REMIND ME OF THOSE DAYS?!
Dark Pit: Woah! Easy there! ...Nigredo I need your help.
Nigredo: *walks over and nuzzles Pit* Mew?
Sara: Sorry, I should have put a TW on this...actually, Cori should have put a TW on this.
Sora: Yeah, he... he's got issues. ...You know, if you wanna go in a closet to calm down, you can.
Pit: *nods, and goes to one, shaking like a leaf*

    >"Jessie! Are ya okay?"
    Jessie shivered and exhaled in a ragged breath. "Cold...." she said weakly.

Louise: *Jessie* Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dark Pit: *James* you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.

    >I didn't doubt her. Her skin looked as white as marble, and when I took her by the hands and pulled her into a kneeling position, her flesh felt colder than the grave!

Pit: *can be hear whimpering in the closet*
Dark Pit: ...And this is a Stage 1?! Pit's reacting like it's a stage... I don't know!
Sara: It reads more like a stage 2 fic. Stage 1 was supposed to be relatively harmless if not melodramatic.
Sora: ...Wait, is he hearing it?!
Sara: I think I have a spare iPod with some catchy tunes...
Sora: That would help. *winces* I didn't knew it was THIS melodramatic...
Sara: It gets worse, too.

    >"So cold...." she whimpered, wrapping her arms around herself and doubling over in an attempt to get warm again.

Sora: ...Erm...
L!Fiora: Try living in Ilia, Jessie. *hiss*
Sora: ...I think I understand why Pit's being...
Dark Pit: ...Yeah. I just... I can't handle this myself. ...*looks away*
Sara: *hits the projector again*

    >I reached over and picked up my alarm-clock. "Ten O'Clock," I told her.
    "Aw, geez! I must've dozed-off!" she said, placing a hand on her forehead. "Why'd you let me do that?!"

M!Eliwood: Where are we in canon?
L!Rebecca: "The Ghost of Maiden's Peak", somewhat early in the original anime.
M!Eliwood: I know it's that episode, I mean where in the episode.
L!Rebecca: I don't even know. I think it takes place between the time Joy forcibly keeps Ash and Misty from looking for Brock, and the next morning when they and Jessie are looking for Brock and James.
M!Eliwood: Wait, Joy did WHAT?!
L!Rebecca: She told them it was too late and scolded them for going out after curfew.
M!Eliwood: ...Oh.

    >Huh? What was she talking about?
    "Meowth, why did you let me fall asleep in the middle of dinner?" she asked. Looking into her eyes, I realized that she honestly didn't remember what had just happened -- her memory of the past three hours had been erased by that ghost!

Sara: *Jessie* I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
M!Eliwood:*Meowth* perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.

    >I thought about telling her, but I didn't know whether or not she'd believe me, so I decided against it. Maybe it was better if she didn't remember.

Pit: *whimpers again*
Sora: Uh, the iPod...?
Sara: *brings it to him* Here you go!
Pit: *puts the headphone on and curls up against pillows*

    >"What time are we planning on breaking into the museum anyway?" Jessie asked as she zipped herself into her sleeping-bag.
    "Midnight," I replied. "I'll let ya know when it's time. Meanwhile, just get some rest...."

Louise: *Jessie* But James snores!
Dark Pit: Don't mention snoring. *rubs his temples* Have you ever heard a Centurion Strongarm snore?
Lysandre: No, but I imagine it's horrific.
Dark Pit: *sighs* I'm glad Pit and I are heavy sleepers when we do fall asleep, because...
Sara: I'm a heavier sleeper thanks to the melatonin I'm taking, but sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night.

    >"So beautiful...I love you...." James muttered in his sleep.
    Jessie scowled at him. "Yeah. Fat chance of THAT happening!"

L!Farina: *Jessie* Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dark Pit: *Pffffft*

    >I tried to get to sleep, but it just wasn't happening. Jess looked like she was sleeping peacefully enough, but James's giggling was driving me insane!

Sara: *Meowth* There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
M!Eliwood: ...What was that quote again?
Sora: Mine? About the Shepherds?
M!Eliwood: Yes.
L!Eliwood: Which one was that?
Sora: Oh, I said... "You have to remember, the Shepherds are a group of nutjobs who fights for Ylisse's protection. Yes, even Chrom... I mean, come on, his reaction upon seeing Fem!Robin naked was "Er, is there any special reason you aren't wearing any clothing?" ...He's probably one of those who doesn't have that many screws loose compared to the rest."
L!Eliwood: *LAUGHS*
Sara: Chrom only ACTS like the only sane man, but let's face it. He's a dork. And I wish more people realized that instead of treating him either like a perfect romantic hero or a crappy leader who lacks a brain. :<
Sora: And I love his sense of humor. And his Ike mannerism.
Sara: I wish the game had delved more into his issues re: his family's tragedies and all his losses, but oh well. Maybe they feared making him too angsty when they had a world to save.
L!Lyn: And when you consider what Lucina and the second gen are going through he probably didn't want his own problems discussed anyway.
Dark Pit: ...*winces*
L!Lyn: Yeah.

    >I tell you, midnight couldn't come fast enough! The sooner we stole that painting, the sooner we could sell it and use the money to get out of town. And believe me, the sooner we got outta town, the better! Maybe if we could get away, the Maiden's hold on James would be released and things would get back to normal....

Dark Pit: Better said than done. ...*looks at the closet door that Pit's inside*
Sara: Is he doing better?
Dark Pit: ...Can't tell. He has pretty much a bad trigger towards... So I don't know if he's calming down.
Sara: I should have slapped a TW on this.
Lysandre: No, this Nergal fellow should have. You are not responsible for Cori's stupidity, and Nergal may be evil but he should at least be considerate.
M!Eliwood: ...I'm surprised no one else flipped out has bad...
L!Ninian: We're used to Cori.
Louise: I'm just disappointed we didn't see anything gory, but I can use my imagination. Or maybe a boulder will fall on them.
M!Jaffar: Rocks fall, everyone dies.
L!Jaffar: Perfect.

    >Suddenly, the alarm clock began to ring. It was midnight.
    "Wake up!" I said to the others. "Time to swipe the paintin'!"
    "Nnnnnnn...need my beauty sleep...." Jessie mumbled.

L!Dart: *Meowth* Look, that's gonna take a few years anyway so just get up.
L!Farina: And then Jessie threw Meowth across the room and went back to sleep.
Sora: Still hope it's not a Basquiat.

    >Normally, this kind of response would've annoyed me, but tonight it was music to Meowth's ears! If that wasn't a sign that Jessie was her old self again, then nothing was!

L!Nino: *Meowth* Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
M!Nino: ...Can that even happen in a Cori fic?
L!Rebecca: Probably not. These three are a train wreck going at warp speed.
M!Hector: *Egoraptor* Choo-choo! Choo-choo! Chugga-chugga-chugga - BOOM! BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM- Millions are dead!
Louise: YEAH! *fistpump* Pleeeeease let this actually happen in the fic? Please?
M!Ninian: No.
Louise: D: Damn! Why didn't Nergal teleport Tina here instead, she loves this whiny romance crap.

    >"Mmmmmmm...so beautiful...I must meet you!" James muttered again.
    But before I could knock some sense into him, a pale green light began to glow. Then, the Maiden's ghost emerged from the museum and looked up at the three of us.

L!Nils: *ghost* Give me back my penny!
M!Nils: ...Was it her penny?
L!Nils: Probably not, but I felt like doing a brick joke.
M!Nils: Brick jokes are fun!
Pit: *cracks open the closet door and his eye is visible* ...Is it safe yet?
Sora: Dunno. Never read this fic.
Sara: *jogs memory* ...yes. No more suicide or triggery things, just soppy romantic declarations.
Pit: *slowly goes to his seat and huddles near DP and Sora* Good...

    >"What's dat?" I said. The ghost looked directly at me and saw that I was awake. "Ahhh...must be dreamin'...back to sleep...." I muttered. With that, I closed my eyes and feigned slumber. Then, I heard James begin to stir.
    "It's you!" he gasped.

L!Serra: *James* Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
M!Serra: ...That sounds like something James would DO.
L!Erk: It does. *snort*

    >I peeked over at him and saw that he and the ghost were staring at each other. "I've been waiting so long for you, my love," said the ghost.
    "Come with me." "Yes," James said, climbing out of his sleeping-bag. It looked like he was in a trance!

Louise: But he wasn't! He was faking it so he could steal her wallet!
L!Canas: Do ghosts even have money?
Louise: I dunno. But they're crooks, aren't they?
M!Canas: Yes, well... I doubt she would even have money.

    >Well, I wasn't worried about Jessie anymore -- I knew she was going to be okay...but I couldn't say the same for James! Who knows what kind of plans that monster had? Now it was time to follow him!
    And follow I did.
    The ghost led him through the forest -- the same way that Jessie had gone earlier that evening. Then, she held out her arms and pulled James into an embrace.

M!Matthew: *James* SHIT YOU'RE COLD!
L!Legault: *Maiden* Well, duh, ghosts aren't known for their warm bodies. Now make with the makeouts!
M!Matthew: *James* But I don't want to freeze my tongue!
Sara: *James* I don't wanna end up like that kid in A Christmas Story!
Sora: ...The one with the BB Gun?
Sara: Yep.
Sora: Right!
Pit: ...Do you guys have cider?
L!Lulu: I have some!
Pit: ...*smiles* Thanks...
Sora: Hope it's not the alcoholic one.
Pit: ...Right. I'm not legal yet.
L!Lulu: *gives him a mug* No alcohol here!

    >Hey! This was just like my nightmare, too!

Lysandre: *Meowth* I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sora: I don't wanna go back in second grade... Or back to normal school. I'm fine with college.
Louise: Second grade sucked.

    >I regretted not interfering when the ghost attacked Jessie -- I wasn't about to make that mistake again! "NOOOOOOO!!!!! DON'T DO IT, JAMES!!!!!" I screamed, charging towards them before the ghost could do anything. "SHE'S GONNA KILL YA!!!!!"

Lysandre: Remove the underpants from your head, Meowth.
Dark Pit: Enough with the five exclamation points, Meowth. We know you're insane.
L!Raven: And then Meowth ended up dropping half his exclamation points and tripped on them.
Pit: ...*huddles closer to his twin* I don't like this...
Dark Pit: ...Just drink your cider, okay?
Pit: *nods*
Dark Pit: ...He doesn't do well with melodrama as a whole.
Louise: Who can blame him? It's boring and it sucks! Come on, story, show us some blood!
Sora: Do you want me to smack the projector or is it fine?
Sara: Hit it.
Sora: *takes out Cancer Claws and melees the eff outta the projector*

    >"No! No! Leave me alone!" James cried as he struggled to break free. "I love Jessie! I love Jessie!! I love Jessie!!!"

Sara: Drat, it- *and then the projector skips a bunch more stuff*

    >Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice. "Hey, Brock?! BROCK!!!" Then, the Ketchum kid and the bratty little girl came from behind the shrine.

L!Lucius: Oh, good, it's Ash and Misty! In stage one they're not as horribly bashed and they're less likely to cause melodrama.
Sora: Good!

    >Jessie and the twerps saw each other at the exact same moment.
    "Yuck!" Jessie cried. "Double-yuck!" the brat shot back.
    "Hmmmmph! You're not the one I was looking for!" she snapped.
    Ash blinked. "Huh? Were you looking for someone, too?"

L!Florina: *Ash* dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
M!Florina: Sounds like Oswin when he gets too much ale.
L!Oswin: Yours, I assume. I've never been that drunk in my life.
M!Florina: Well, do you guys have watermelon flavored ale...?
L!Oswin: Can't say we do.
M!Oswin: ...It's quite addictive.
Lysandre: It sounds like a strange combination.
Sora: My brother loves it when it's out for summer!

    >"Yes," she replied. "But first...Prepare for trouble!"
    Silence.
    Remembering that James wasn't there to say the motto with her, Jess quickly lowered her voice an octave and added, "And make it double!"

Sara: Oh, good, canon shows up! This is a funny part of the episode.
Sora: I totally forgot what happened in canon. So she tries to recite the motto herself? ...Why do they even HAVE the motto?!
Sara: She does. And the motto is probably just them showing off. Or a Team Rocket requirement.
Sora: If I'd were in Team Rocket, it would be just a CARPE DIEM!
Sara: Hahaha. XD

    >Jessie frowned when she heard herself saying James's line. Somehow, it just wasn't the same. "Doing this by myself is a real drag," she sighed.

L!Serra: Insert crossdresser James joke here.
M!Serra: *Jessie* JAMES WHY DID YOU STEAL MY DRESS.
L!Serra: Good one. XD
Pit: ...My tunic isn't a dress.
Sara: Tunics get mistaken for dresses a lot in videogame fandoms.

    >Twirling around and flipping her hair dramatically, she continued, "To protect the world from devastation!"
    Pulling a rose from out of nowhere and lowering her voice once again, "To unite all peoples within our nation!"

Sora: *shakes her head* Kanto canon was weird as BALLS.
Sara: It was. But it was so much fun. XD

    >"To denounce the evils of truth and love!" Her voice was straining that time. She really couldn't do this by herself!
    Then, a muffled voice replied, "To extend our reach to the stars above...."

L!Geitz: *Jessie* No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
M!Florina: ...Sounds like my Hector the last time we went freaky...
L!Florina: Oh my. XD
L!Farina: My Hector always remembers. I make sure he does or I'll kick his ass.
L!Hector: Farina... D:
M!Hector: I blame the mix of ginger ale and Crown Royal.

    >Jessie blinked. "Jessie?" she said, as if she were asking where the voice had come from. "James...." it replied weakly.
    "Uh...uh...Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!" Jessie cried out, hoping for another reply. The motto had become a game of Marco Polo!
Dark Pit: Nigredo?
Nigredo: [eating food! Meow!]
Dark Pit: Oh, that's good.
M!Lyn: Glad you put on a glow-in-the-dark collar for him!
Mittens: *his collar has a bell on it that can be heard jingling anytime he gets up to look for mischief*
Lune: Oi!

    >"Surrender now...." the voice said. Then, the doors of the shrine burst open, and James came flying out. "....or prepare to fight...."
Pit: WHAT?!
Dark Pit: ...Not actually flying, Pit.
Pit: ...R-right....
Sara: Floating, more like it.
Pit: ...
Dark Pit: ...Yeah, sorry there. *pats his head* We can't fly.

    >"Oh! He looks awful!" Jessie cried as he hit the ground and started giggling uncontrollably again.
    "Worse than usual!" I remarked. That kid, Brock, came rolling out the door a second later. He was having laughing-fits, too!

L!Lulu: *Brock* I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
M!Lulu: *Ash* YOU TRIED TO FLIRT WITH ME ON A PORCH- Oh wait, this is Kanto, not Hoenn. NEVER MIND.
L!Pent: *Jessie* ...I don't want to know.
M!Pent: *Misty* He did WHAT?
M!Lulu: *Ash* Eeyup.

    >James reached up and threw his arms around Jessie's hips. Then, he buried his face in her legs and started mumbling,

Louise: *James* When was the last time you shaved your thighs?
Sora: ...*tries not to look at Pit or Dark Pit's legs* ...I'm a thigh person...
L!Ike: *sneezes from where the Tellius and Ylisse crews are hanging out in the break area*
Chrom: *does the same*

    >"Iloveheriloveheriloveheriloveheriloveher...."
    Normally, I think Jessie would have enjoyed this, but having him rant about another woman, not to mention those kids watching them, kind of killed the magic of the moment.

Pit: I can use Powers that are kinda like magic!
L!Erk: I'm getting better at magic. Communing with the spirits, as Nino and Lord Pent said.

    >"Knock it off!" she shouted, punching him in the head. James fell to the ground again. Then, he and the other guy threw their arms around each other and continued babbling. "What's wrong with them?!" one of the twerps cried.

Sara: *James* I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sora: ...OH GOD.
Sara: I know. D:

    >"They've both seen the ghost of the Maiden and fallen under her spell," came the reply. We all turned and saw the old fortune-teller standing behind us. "I warned them that a beautiful woman would lead them to a cruel fate!" she continued.

Louise: *Jessie* But you didn't say she was a ghost! That's cheating!
M!Eliwood: I find this cliché, thought.
Louise: But ghosts! Dead people!
Sara: Henry would like you, kid. *pets her*
Dark Pit: He WOULD.
Sora: Actually, I'm thinking of making him my next FE husband for Aika.
Dark Pit: ...That makes so much SENSE.
Sara: Next time I play as a girl Avatar I'm marrying him. :3

    >"AUGH! They're posessed!" Ash cried. "Pikachu! Thunder Shock!"
    "Piiiiii-kaaaaaaa-chuuuuuuuuu!" the electric mouse replied, zapping the two of them and putting an end to their hysterics.

L!Priscilla: Oh noes, Ash just practiced moral dissonance!
Sara: Actually, in this fic it's barely glanced over.
Sora: ...Which makes no sense the more Cori descends into madness! She could write Ash IC, why would she get him so OoC?!
Sara: Cause she hates him. And the more canon went on the more the writers let good things happen to him and the more she had to correct that.
Sora: You mean, "correct" that.
Sara: Ah, right, forgot the fingerquotes.

    >"Unnnnhhhh...." James said as he sat up. "I'm James...from Team Rocket...." Then, his expression became lucid. "Wheeeeeee!!!!!" he cried, jumping to his feet and sailing about, thankful to be in his right mind once again.

L!Lyn: *James* Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
M!Eliwood: Sounds like any of the Shinons raiding Sora's liquor cabinet
Sara: That's definitely a Shinon thing to text!
M!Ninian: I'm not surprised.

    >"He's back," Jessie sighed, placing a hand to her forehead.
    "But not to normal," I said only half-jokingly. (He still looked kinda crazy, if ya ask me!)

M!Rebecca: *singing* Does that make me crazy~? Does that make me crazy~?
L!Rebecca: Which song is that?
M!Rebecca: Crazy by Gnarles Barkley.
L!Rebecca: Aah. Never heard it!

    >"Every year this happens," the fortune-teller explained as she led all of us into the shrine. "When the ghost comes back to life, all men who see her fall under her spell and think they're in love with her. And they always end up here, babbling incoherently, with all the life sucked out of them...."

L!Heath: So she's a sparkly vampire, then.
M!Heath: Why are we bringing in Twilight...?
M!Vaida: Speaking of Twilight? Esmeralda Iceworth is the worst woman ever!
Dark Pit: ...Hope she doesn't think that Noël's new fic is SHIPPING. It's in fandomwar for a reason!
L!Heath: Sorry. It's old hat but I can't resist making that joke.
L!Vaida: Essie doesn't deserve to call herself a woman. She's the most pathetic, weak THING ever to exist!
Dark Pit: And Patrick's the same. ...If I have to smack him once AGAIN...
L!Eliwood: Leave some for me.
M!Eliwood: Aye aye!

    >"But Pikachu broke the spell!" Ash protested.

Sora: Magic doesn't work that way, Ash. If you were Frontierverse!Toshi you'd know that!
Sara: Original series Ash is pretty naive, yeah.

    >"It doesn't matter," she retorted. "Now that they've been under her spell, the ghost of the Maiden will keep coming back for them!"
    "I don't care," Brock sighed.

L!Legault: *Brock* We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
M!Heath: *Ash* BROCK NO. YOU'RE JUST 14.
L!Kent: *Brock* No, I just turned 15, remember?
M!Heath: *Ash* YOU'RE STILL UNDERAGE IN KANTO!
L!Sain: *Brock* Awwww. D:

    >Hearing this made me nervous. He still sounded like he was hypnotized! What if the spell hadn't been broken after all?
    "What are we going to do?!" James cried. "I'm scared! I'm really, REALLY SCARED!!!!" Well, at least the spell on James was broken. (And I think it had everything to do with his feelins for Jessie!)

Lysandre: Or perhaps he simply doesn't want to have his soul sucked out by a creepy ghost.
Pit: ...Can we NOT talk about souls for a while?!
Lysandre: Oh. My apologies.
Dark Pit: *pets his head*

    >"I have these," the old woman replied, holding up several booklets. She then proceeded to tear out pages from one of the booklets and stick them on Brock and James.

Louise: *as her dad* These are coupons for half-off on the burger of the day. I don't wanna see a single one left when you come back here!
Sora: Oh please. Couldn't they use ofuda? THEY'RE IN FREAKING KANTO!
Sara: I think that's what they're supposed to be.

    >"These are anti-ghost stickers," she explained as she held out one for us to see. It had strange glyphs embossed on it -- glyphs that would keep evil spirits at bay. "Just stick these stickers everywhere, and you'll be safe!"

Sora: They're OFUDA!
Sara: Blame 4Kids. *shrug*

    >"All right!" Ash exclaimed.
    "Of course...there's a catch," the old woman continued, whipping out a cash-register.

M!Sain: What. WHAT?! WHAT?!
L!Sain: She's charging them money to save their friends? Rude!
Sora: Kanto IS weird as fuck.

    >"Aw, man!" Ash grumbled as he and Misty each pulled a wad of money from their pockets and paid for some sticker books. Remembering that we were out of cash, Jessie hung her head and sighed. Then, she seated herself in a far corner of the room and buried her face in her hands.

L!Priscilla: *Jessie* If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Sora: Wait, why are we talking Christmas? Are you guys trying to get 'Carol of the Bells' stuck in my head again?!
L!Priscilla: Was the first thing that popped into my head.
Sora: *siiiiigh*
L!Priscilla: Sorry.

    >"Don't worry, Jess. We'll think of somethin'," I said, sitting next to her.

L!Serra: *Meowth* I'll act cute to charm her while you turn into a ninja and swipe some stickers!
Dark Pit: *snickers* Sounds like something Niwa Toshi would do for me.

    >Ash and Misty put a few more stickers on Brock. Then, they went outside to stick the rest of them on the walls of the shrine.
    Once they were gone, the old woman came over to where Jessie and I were. "What's the matter, young lady?" she asked. "Don't you want to keep the ghost away from your friend?"

L!Vaida: *Jessie* Actually, the ghost can have him. I'm sick of him borrowing my clothes without asking.
M!Vaida: *Jessie* I can make my own ofuda. WITH YOUR BLOOD!
L!Henry: *randomly appears* Yay, BLOOD! *dragged back to the break room*
Louise: ...I like him.
Sora: ...Can we have Ike here? ...For Pit? I mean, they're bros and all...
Sara: Sure! :D Pit could use another friend right now, probably. *mutters something about having Words with Nergal about trigger warnings*
Sora: Alright! ^^ *uses the intercom to get M!Ike over*
M!Ike: *comes over* You rang?
Pit: *just RUNS and hugs Ike tightly*
Dark Pit: *winces* Yeah, he'll need all the support he can.
L!Serra: Aww...

    >"Of course I do," Jessie replied, looking into the old woman's dark eyes. "But I don't have the money for those stickers...."
    "Did I mention that they're on sale?" she said. "Two for the price of one!"

Louise: Dad tried that once. We still only got two extra customers.
Sora: I'm just able to eat a whole plain hamburger. ...If I was sharing the combo with someone it would be fine...
Sara: Same here. I used to have two anytime I made them myself, but I've been cutting back lately. Mom's cholesterol's high and I wanna keep an eye on my own just in case.

    >"Lady, they could be two hundred for the price of one, and I STILL wouldn't be able to afford it!" Jessie cried. "I don't have ANY money...."

L!Farina: *Jessie* I spent it all on candy! ...will you take candy in exchange for stickers?
M!Farina: *Fortune-teller* Depends on what type of candy it is. Pixie Stix counts as a hundred yen, for one...
L!Farina: *Jessie* I have two of the really big ones. And a pound of jellybeans.
M!Farina: *Fortune-teller* Alright, big ones... pound of jelly bean... That's the equivalent of 11000 yen!!
L!Farina: *Jessie* So do we have a deal?
M!Farina: *Fortune-teller* YES. YES WE HAVE A DEAL.
L!Fiora: *applauds* Good show, you two!
M!Farina: I wish THAT was the canon part!
Louise: If only.

    >"Ah, but those children didn't take advantage of my special sale," the old woman continued. "The way I figure it, I've got about ten books of stickers that I have to give away...would you be willing to take them?"

Lysandre: ... *facepalm*
All of the M!Crew: ...WhaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Sara: I...don't remember if this is canon or not.

    >Jessie nodded and became wobbly-eyed as the old woman gave her the stickers. "Thank you," she whispered, wiping away her tears.

Sara: Nope, not canon!
Sora: It's easy to know what part is canon and what part is not thanks to the later stages, but... But WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!
Sara: I think Jessie explains the free stickers bit later on in the episode. The easiest way to tell canon from not canon here is whether or not someone swears or Jessie cries.
EliwoodGabriel (7:59:54 PM):    Sora: Graahh...
Pit: *has fallen asleep on M!Ike*
M!Ike: ^^;;; You guys don't mind?
Sora: I don't. This guy gets lots of nightmares, it's good if he's able to rest.
Sara: Yeah, it's best if he sleeps through the rest of this thing.

    >"Come on, Meowth!" she said, handing me a few of the sticker books. "There's no way we're letting that ghost take our James away!"
    "Let's get stickin'!" I cheered. And that's exactly what we did -- we covered every single inch of James's body with those anti-ghost stickers.

Dark Pit: Even his private parts?
L!Lulu: *snicker* Probably.

    >"Are you sure this will work?" James asked.
    "Shut your mouth," Jessie growled, placing a sticker over his lips. James closed his eyes and hung his head as a tear rolled down his cheek. He must've been convinced that Jess hated him after what he'd done to her.

L!Lucius: *mimes playing tiny violin*
Dark Pit: Funny you guys do that, because Pit and I CAN play the violin. ...Except we don't have any here.
L!Lyn: Brady and Maribelle can play, too. They'd be perfect for this.
M!Ninian: Yes! Yes, they would!

    >I looked over and saw a sly smile spread across Jessie's face as she smoothed a couple of stickers onto his butt and gave them a nice, firm pat to make sure they'd stay. She didn't hate him -- she was just upset. (Hey! After what I'd seen her do for him last night, there's no way she could possibly hate him!)

Louise: See?! This even has butt touching! Tina would've been perfect for this!
Sora: Speaking of butts...
Dark Pit: OI.

    >After that, it was a waiting game. Before the old woman left, she told us that the ghost would come for them again once it got dark. And once she got a look at all the stickers we'd put up, she'd be scared away!

L!Hector: *ghost* Those stickers have SQUIRRELS on them! Eeeeek!
M!Hector: Hey, can't Pachirisu learn a move that's super-effective to ghost-types?
L!Matthew: If I remember correctly, Fling? But it has to be holding an item.
M!Guy: And I think they can learn Bite? ...Not sure.
Sara: *checks Bulbapedia on her phone* Nope. I thought it was Pursuit, myself.
M!Guy: In Gen 5 they could via breeding...
Sara: ...oh, right! It's been a while since I've used a Pachirisu for battle or bred them.

    >Once the sun had set, Brock and James seated themselves at the front of the shrine, and the rest of us hid behind a small partition.
    "Do you think she'll come?" Jessie whispered nervously as she peeked around the corner to see how James was doing.

M!Ike: *Ash* She SHOULD. I didn't brought my anti-ghost molotov for anything else!
L!Isadora: *Misty* That'd be embarrasing, to bring it out only for no ghosts to show up.
Dark Pit: ...Anyone has a blanket? Pit looks cold.
L!Lulu: *Takes one out* Here we go.
Dark Pit: *takes it and puts it on him* Thanks...
Pit: *looks content*

    >Suddenly, all of the lights went out, and the doors blew open. An icy wind began to whip through the shrine, blowing all of the stickers away.

Lysandre: *Jessie* Damn that cheap adhesive.
M!Ninian: *Jessie* OKAY WHO LET THEIR ICE-TYPE OUT.
L!Nils: *Misty* Starmie, cut that out! I didn't even teach you Blizzard in canon.
M!Ninian: *Jessie* ...It would make for a good air conditioner...

    >"Why?!" James cried as the ghost appeared outside and a supernatural force began to pull him away. "Why aren't the stickers working?!" Jessie and I raced to his side as he grabbed onto the railing to keep from being blown out of the shrine.
    "Maybe because we got them for free," Jessie replied, a hint of guilt in her voice.

L!Canas: I believe this is the canon part? I should look up that episode online.
Sora: That would be useful!
L!Canas: ...hmm. The summary doesn't mention the freebies. *checks a youtube of the episode* Aha! No mention is made of the freebies until the big climax.
Sara: I thought so. Thanks, Canas.
M!Eliwood: *sighs* Really?
Sara: Yeah. The scene with Jessie crying was Cori wanting another excuse for Jessie crying.
Dark Pit: Pa-the-tic.

    >"Free?! What do you mean, free?!" James demanded.
    "Uh...it was a two-for-one deal," Jess said lamely. "We got one set free for every one they bought...it was a real bargain...."
    "You used freebies?!" James said in disbelief.

L!Dorcas: *Jessie* hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
M!Bartre: Woah!
L!Dorcas: It had to be done at some point.
L!Bartre: Heh, so you can be funny after all!
Dark Pit: The only freebies I like are empty hot springs, sparring with Pit and free food.
Sara: Freebies are fun. I may be somewhat rich now thanks to my graduation gifts, but free junk is always nice!
Dark Pit: Mmm. ...Especially when Pit cooks.

    >Jessie blushed and hung her head. "Oops!"
    "I can't believe you're letting that ghost get me just because you're both so cheap!" he snapped.

Sora: Considering the size of Ofuda, wouldn''t have Jessie risk her pride and ask the kids some of them? And why covering the whole body with tons? Just one would've work...
Sara: Even canon Jessie would rather punch herself in the face than ask the kids for help. And maybe that's why the stickers didn't work, cause they used too many.
Sora: Yeah, they probably cancelled out each other...

    >She looked up at him. "You mean you don't want to go?"
    "Of course I don't want to go!" James whined as his grip on the railing gave way and the ghost began to drag him out. "I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go! I DON'T WANNA GO!!!!!"

L!Rath: *James* Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Dark Pit: ...Good thing Pit's sleeping. No mentioning of airports around him, either.
L!Rath: Ah. Sorry.
L!Raven: Jeez, so many things he's traumatized and triggered by. Who the hell messed with him to make this happen? :/ No, seriously. No kid should have to go through this much.
L!Lucius: *smirk* I told you you hadn't lost your caring heart.
Dark Pit: *waves a bunch of papers* And that's just the gist of it.
L!Raven: ...cripes.
L!Ninian: *wibble* That's so sad...

    >Brock sighed contentedly as the ghost took him, but James kept screaming.
    "James!" Jessie cried.

M!Ninian: Right. Too many stickers.

    >"Looks like he's made his choice! We gotta do somethin'!" I told her. Jessie's eyes widened when I said this. Almost as if all the memories of her fight with the ghost came flooding back.
    "Yes...James has made his choice," she said firmly. "He's made his choice, and I'll be damned if I let her take him away from me!" With that, she grabbed her bazooka and raced outside.

L!Vaida: Finally, she does something instead of crying!
M!Vaida: HALLELUJAH!
Sara: This? Reads more like stage one. Cori actually paid attention to canon, and canon Jessie is making an appearance.
Sora: Wooo!

    >The ghost was just about to grab onto James when Jessie took aim and fired. The rocket blasted a hole right through the monster, forcing her to release him.
    "Hey, girl! You can't have him!" Jessie shouted. "You don't have a ghost of a chance!" I couldn't help but laugh at her pun. Yeah! You tell her, Jess! I silently cheered.

Sara: CANON~!
Sora: Shhh! Don't wake him up!
Sara: Eep! Sorry.
Patrick: Yeah, SLUT, how dare you be loud and make a mistake, your vagina makes you stupid and you must-
Sara: *duct tapes his mouth shut and jams him back into the air vent* Alyssia needs to buy a much stronger cage.
Dark Pit: ...How the hell is he here.
Sara: I don't even know. Like I said, Alyssia needs to find him a stronger cage if he can keep breaking out.

    >Suddenly, James pulled himself back up from the side of the cliff and gazed adoringly at Jessie. "You really do care!" he said, tears welling up in his eyes.

L!Lyn: More canon. <3 Aah, at last.
M!Lyn: Sweet, sweet canon. I bet Zach would love this.
Sara: He would. I may not like him most of the time but in this case he'd be justified in his rants.
M!Lyn: Sad part is, Essie pulls the damn same thing. Why hasn't he distant him from her yet?
Sara: He's madly in love with her, that's why. *tsk* You'd think even he'd have better taste than that.
Sora: That's what Kevin said.

    >Jessie looked like she was about to cry, too, but quickly stopped herself when she remembered that the ghost and the twerps were all watching her. "It's not you," she sneered. "Girls like her disgust me! Always waiting around for her man, as if she were his faithful pet! She can't stand the thought of losing him! She cries, but I'd say, 'See ya later! There's plenty more fish in the sea!'"

Sara: More sweet canon. Now watch as it gets ruined.
Sora: It's gonna get ruined right after this?
Sara: Well, very mildly. But you can tell it's Cori and not canon.

>James absolutely withered when he heard her. Oh, boy! Jess really put her foot in her mouth with THAT remark! I could tell from the look in her eyes that she regretted every word of it!

Sora: *facepalm*
Sara: Yep.

    >"I could go for some fish right now," I said in an attempt to change the subject. But by then, it was too late.
    "You cannot interfere," the ghost hissed. With that, she transformed into a mass of squiggling skulls and began to dart about.
    "Augh!" Ash cried. "Is that thing a pokemon?!"
    "So you figured it out," the ghost's disembodied voice said as the skulls formed back into the shape of the Maiden.

L!Eliwood: On one hand, Ash said "augh". On the other hand, he got to be right and not just stupid.
Sara: And this is gonna drag, it's just one big battle.
Dark Pit: ...Can I use my First Blade?
Sara: Please.
Dark Pit: *takes it out... and once again almost slashes it to oblivion*

    >"I...uh...I apologize if I did anything to hurt you these past couple of days," he told her, returning the embrace. "It's just that...my brain was so muddled by that spell, and I didn't know what I was doing...."

Louise: *James* When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
M!Ike: Uuugh!

    >"Heh! Yer brain's always muddled, Jimmy!" I laughed. "Grrr...SHUT UP!!!" James snapped, giving me a swift kick in the rear. It hurt like hell, but I just laughed even harder -- everything was back to normal!

L!Lowen: *Meowth* James just physically abused me. That's funny!
Dark Pit: *looks like he's about to attack someone*
Louise: *kicks the projector*

    >"It's okay," said Jessie. "I know that wasn't the real you these past couple days. You were under a spell."

L!Isadora: *Jessie* It's okay that you treated me like crap and made my hand bleed, it wasn't YOUR fault.
M!Hector: ...Um, guys?
L!Isadora: ...hm?
M!Hector: *points to the beat-up projector* Are we sure that's still safe?
L!Isadora: What do you mean? You're worried it might explode?
Louise: Oh, please let it, please let it.
M!Hector: I think all the damage's pilling up...

    >"That reminds me of a dream I had the night before last," Jessie told him. "I was here on these cliffs...and I was fighting the ghost to keep her from taking you away. I...I didn't win the fight, but I remember something that the ghost told me before she finished me off. She said, Congratulations. You passed the test."

Sara: ...oh boy. Guys, here comes the dumbest Cori contrivance ever. Well, one of them.
Sora: Heh?

    >Gastly hadn't been trying to hurt them after all -- he was only testing them! Like me, he saw two beautiful young people who belong together...and he put spells on them in order to find out just how much they really cared about each other!

L!Cast, Lysandre, Louise: . . .
M!All: ...

    > Gastly's spell forced them to admit their true feelings for each other, and what's more, it forced them to prove their love to each other!

Louise: ...WHAT.
L!Erk: *passes out from the sheer stupidity*
Sora: ...Way to give me a HEADACHE.
Sara: I know. This is stage one and she's already resorting to insane troll logic and ass pulls.

    >Sure, the two of them may not have remembered that any of this really happened, but I sure did!

L!Rebecca: *Meowth* And it was GROSS!
M!Ike: *Meowth* I need a nice bush. TO PUKE ON!
Sara: Poor kitty. D:

    >I smiled as I looked down at Jessie and James, embracing and keeping each other warm as they watched the first sunrise of the fall season together. Yes, this had definitely been the weirdest summer of my life, and it had ended with the weirdest adventure of all!

Dark Pit: You can say THAT again! This story is right up Hades' alley! ...No, would it? I think he'd hate it himself!
Louise: Even SATAN has standards.

    >It may even be a great story to tell their children one day! I can picture it now -- the story of how mommy's courage and daddy's love broke a magic spell and defeated a ghost!

L!Guy: ...I'm going to be sick. *flees to a corner*
M!Lulu: Hold it, let's go to a bathroom, dear. *brings L!Guy out of the theater to the closest bathroom*
Sora: ...Really? REALLY? Is he gonna skip the part where Jessie does something that is a freaking TRIGGER WARNING?!
L!Guy: *no objections here!*
Sara: Cori wrote fanfic in a time before triggers. Except she still should have warned because what the actual fuck.
Sora: Exactly! ...One of my old stories had a trigger but that was because no one bothered explaning to me WHY it was a trigger.
Sara: I've probably done the same with some old stories.
EliwoodGabriel (3:08:41 PM):    Sora: Seriously, mother's courage? REALLY? Even in this story she's more pathetic than Essie!
L!Vaida: She doesn't do anything brave, she cries and runs away and does something triggery and when she DOES muster up any guts she gets owned! What a faux action girl!
M!Ninian: You said it, sister!

    >Yeah, that'll definitely make a great bedtime story for their kids one day! And Uncle Meowth will be the one to tell it to them!

Lysandre: The question is, will be he able to tell it without laughing? It's hardly a thing to take seriously.
M!Eliwood: This being Cori Falls, this answer is yes.
Sara: And it's over. Finally.
Sora: ...Wow. This is a freaking trainwreck.
Dark Pit: ...*looks at Pit* Should I wake him up, or...?
Sara: Let him rest more. He needs it after all Cori put him through.
Dark Pit: *nods sadly*
Louise: Well, this was a major letdown. Too much romantic crap and no one actually died.
Dark Pit: ...I'll let you play Dangan Ronpa.
Louise: What's that?
Dark Pit: Murder Mystery Visual Novel.
Louise: Ooh, that sounds FUN! :D
L!Canas: I suppose we should rate this story.
Nergal: Not so fast! Since you skipped far too much, I thought I'd make up for it...
Sora: It's better be good. And if there's a trigger, I'm gonna have someone talk to you.
Nergal: Oh, I'm sure no one will be ~triggered~ by this...
Sara: You're an insensitive bastard, you know that?

    >James, Meowth, and I each grabbed a handful of cookies and began to eat. The chocolate coating melted in my mouth, and the inside was crisp and cool. They were the best cookies I'd ever tasted...

L!Lowen: ...eh? That sounds delicious, but still...eh?
Dark Pit: ...FOOD PORN?!

    >And now, as my friends and I stood at the buffet table, helping ourselves to lettuce wraps, roasted chicken, pimento cheese sandwiches, strawberry rhubarb pie, and various other things that the villagers had made, I found myself thinking again about this festival and everything it symbolized.

L!Hector: ...so...he's trying to make us all hungry? Is that it?
Louise: Dad tried a burger with pimento cheese once. It sucked.
Dark Pit: *is drooling*
Ike: ...I guess it's good Pit's sleeping?
Sara: Probably.

    >We then enjoyed a delicious dinner -- I had the grilled mahi mahi with teriyaki sauce, James had the marinated swordfish, and Meowth had the variety shrimp platter -- and ice cream sundaes for dessert.

L!Nino: Oh, right, Cori also has a fetish for talking about what everyone orders in restaurants.
Sara: I only do that if it's relevant. Micaiah groaning at Ike's sandwiches full of meat while she eats a salad with bacon bits works because it's a character thing-Micaiah's a vegetarian except for bacon, so when she eyerolls at Ike it's sorta hypocritical humor. A running gag.
Dark Pit: I NEED FOOD.
L!Lowen: Me too! D:

    >The day after that passed in a similar manner. Jessie made peaches and cream oatmeal for breakfast, spent the morning taking care of the pokemon, made grilled ham and Swiss sandwiches for lunch, spent the afternoon doing chores and tidying up the cabin, and borrowed my cook book so that she could make open-faced turkey burgers for dinner.

Louise: Good thing Dad isn't here to see that, he'd go nuts!
M!Crew: *stomachs can be heard grumbling*
Sora: ...And we haven't ate lunch yet...
Lysandre: ...I wonder if Miss Falls missed her calling by not writing cookbooks.

    >Once all the pieces of French toast had been cooked to a light golden-brown,

L!Lyn: French toast?! ...I knew something was missing from the actual fic.

    >I divided them equally between four plates. Then, I brought the whipped cream from the refrigerator, spooned some onto half of the pieces, and topped them with a generous helping of strawberries. After assembling them into sandwiches, I sprinkled the rest of the strawberry slices on top and drizzled each one with strawberry-flavored syrup.

Sara: ...that sounds delicious. Dammit, Cori.
    M!Florina: I want that for lunch...

    >That evening, James decided to lighten the mood by making calzones for dinner and inviting us to help him. While he mixed the tomato sauce and chopped the green peppers and mushrooms, Meowth grated the cheese, and I kneaded the dough. Then, we watched James roll the dough out, top it like a pizza, and fold it into a pocket.


L!Farina: I want THAT! Except with olives and sausages, too!
Dark Pit: I want pitas...

    > And as we enjoyed the fresh salad, the succulent ham, the cheesy broccoli casserole, the piping-hot dinner rolls, and the spicy-sweet pumpkin pie [...] The roasted Cornish game hens were rich and succulent, and the chestnut and wild rice stuffing and roasted red potatoes that had been cooked with the birds had soaked up their flavor, making them even more savory than they already were! The French-cut green beans were fresh and hearty and made an excellent side-dish, and the iced tea had been sweetened to perfection.

Sara: [grabby hands!!] Why don't my potatoes ever turn out like that? D:
M!Eliwood: This is crazy!

    >James, Meowth, and I watched intently as she formed some of the rice into rectangular sheets and lined them with seaweed. She arranged pieces of cooked crab meat and avocado and cucumber slices down the sides of six of the sheets and slices of raw tuna and cucumber and hot sauce down the sides of the other six.

Sara: The sushi porn goes on forever, too. Not only do we see her make it, but we get a play by play of how tasty it is and now I want sushi. D:
Lysandre: ...I'm becoming famished myself.
M!Ninian: Sushi sounds so good...

    >"I got the Fu King sweet and sour chicken and the Fu King shrimp in lobster sauce!" Meowth announced.
    "I got the Fu King honey and ginger chicken and some Fu King fried rice!" said Jessie.
    "And I got the Fu King tangerine chicken and some Fu King spring rolls!" I told them.

Sara: Aaargh some of my favorites. D: D: D: If I wasn't watching my weight I'd eat like this every day.
L!Lowen: *whiiiiiine* Cori, stop making my stomach pine for these delicious meals!
Sora: ...Fu King?
Louise: ...oh my GOD. XD I get it! There just needs to be a c in there!
Sara: It's one of Cori's most annoying jokes. She runs it right into the ground.
Dark Pit: It's less tolerable than any of Pit's puns.
Louise: Or Dad's puns.

    >We ended up choosing a Thai restaurant called Orchids of Siam. The day's special was Thai-style sweet and sour chicken with steamed vegetables, fried rice, wonton soup, and spring rolls with plum sauce on the side, so that was what we all ordered.

L!Raven: Who. Cares.
Dark Pit: ...I need food NOW.

    > The white tilapia was succulent and flaky, and the fruit juices it had been marinated in gave it a flavor that tied in well with the spicy-sweet mango salsa. Likewise, the black beans and rice were moist and tender, and they'd been seasoned to perfection.

L!Dart: The beast in my belly is growling again!
Sora: ...They're all stuff I'd probably never eat, but they sound so delicious. ...*sighs*

    >Then, Jessie cut the pink dough with a poinsetta-shaped cookie cutter, and I cut the green dough with a Christmas tree-shaped cookie cutter. The two of us then put the cookies onto baking sheets and decorated them with sprinkles. When the macaroons were done, grandma put the almond cookies into the oven and let me and Jessie roll the tea-cakes into balls while she started a batch of fudge and mixed up a cinnamon sugar glaze to coat some raisins and pecans with.

Sara: ...I haven't had fudge in forever and now I want some. Damn you, Cori!
Sora: ...THIS ISN'T THE TIME FOR CHRISTMAS SHIT, NERGAL.

    >Then, a waiter brought us a basket of breadsticks. And a few minutes later, he returned with our food -- Mondo got a personal pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms, Meowth got an oven-toasted Italian sub, Jessie got the vegetable lasagne, and I got the stuffed shells florentine.

L!Fiora: Cori, the only thing you accomplish in telling everyone what the characters ordered is making the readers hungry.
M!Lyn: Where are they, East Side Mario's?
Sara: Actually, the place is called Luigi's.
L!Florina: At least it's not called Weegee's.
M!Hector: Pffft.

    >After perusing the menu for a moment, Gary decided on the chicken and shrimp fajitas, Meowth got the blackened catfish platter, Jessie asked for the grilled chicken sandwich with honey mustard sauce, and I chose the citrus-grilled chicken and shrimp.

L!Renault: Nergal, what is the actual point of this?
Ike: The point is to make us realize how WORDY CORI FALLS GETS WHEN IT COMES TO FOOD?!
Sara: Or to make us hungry.
L!Rebecca: Or both!
Sora: Please tell me this is over...

    >The spinach, tomatoes, and peppers in the salad were ripe and fresh, and the salty-sweet flavor of the bacon dressing complemented them perfectly. The chicken breasts had been marinated in honey dijon sauce and grilled to perfection, and the spicy-sweet flavor permeated every juicy bite. The rolls were soft, sweet, and fluffy, and the whole grains of wheat and oat in the bread added lots of texture. And the non-alcoholic sparkling cider, which looked and tasted like champagne, was the perfect beverage to wash it all down.

Nergal: And now it is!
Sora: ...Hey, Aenir, go talk to your husband about triggers.
Aenir: *sighs* I apologize. I should have had that talk with him long ago. And I will.
Nergal: *mutters* Stupid tumblr-fed oversensitive...
Aenir: *drags him off*
Dark Pit: *has fallen off his seat* FooOOOoood...
L!Canas: The grading can wait. Too many of us are starving...me included!
Sora: Characterization... D, since this is Stage 1 and canon does make an apperance. Story, also D, at least canon was in here. Spelling and Grammar, A, that's what she's good at. Audience Reaction, I'm gonna go with B+, because well, *looks at Pit* Does that works with everyone?
Sara: That works with me. Jessie's real self did make an appearance now and then.
Sora: ...LET'S GO EAT.
Pit: *stirs*
L!Lucius: *keeps an eye on him*
L!Lowen and L!Rebecca: *rush off to the kitchen on the SOL*
Dark Pit: *follows them* I NEED MY PITAS!
Sara: *likewise!*
M!Lowen and M!Rebecca: WAIT FOR US! *also goes to the kitchen*
Sora: *runs as well* I WANT A PITA TOO!
L!Dart: *almost trips over the seats running after them*
Pit: *wakes up* ...I-is it over...?
L!Lucius: Yes, it is. How are you feeling?
Pit: ...Hungry.
L!Lucius: You're far from the only one. Let's go back to the main room and get you something to eat, then.
Pit: ...I feel like pitas.
L!Lucius: *nod* All right.
Pit: ...Yeah. That would cheer me up. *small smile*
L!Lucius: I'll fix some for you!
Pit: No... I can do it myself.
L!Lucius: All right. *smiles* I just thought I'd offer.
Pit: Thanks anyway. *And he's off to the kitchen, not realizing that his brother's there too...*
Sara: *cutting veggies for a stir-fry* They make it look so much easier on TV.
Sora: *cutting pickles for the pitas* Everything looks easier on TV, I find.
Pit: ...Hello?
Louise: Oh, hey, kid! We're cooking up a banquet cause Cori Falls made us all hungry.
L!Lulu: Easy now, dear...
Pit: ...Huh?
Dark Pit: *is trying to get his Pita done* So.... hungry...
Pit: ...*winces* Her food porn?
Dark Pit: Her food porn.
Pit: I hear ya. ...Where's Nigredo?
Nigredo: *just woke up from catnap, is walking in*
Dark Pit: Hey, kitty. Your bowl's full if you're hungry yourself...
Nigredo: *starving! runs to foods!*
L!Fiora: *making potatoes au gratin*
Dark Pit: *done his pita! ...And chows down without a word*
Pit: *laughs nervously* I'm glad I was asleep for that...
L!Dart: *sharing a huge plate of cheese fries with L!Wil* It would've put ya to sleep anyway. Boring!
Pit: No, I think I would've reacted like DP here. ...We both get hungry easily.
Sora: You're both growing angel boys.
Pit: ...Exactly.
L!Sain: *helping himself to some fish and chips L!Lowen helped make*
Sora: *And HER pita is done* It's lunch time~~~!
Sara: *still working on her stir fry! It's actually coming out like it should this time, yay*

Date: 2014-05-30 06:06 pm (UTC)
sarajayechan: Angel smirking as he shows Charlie a bondage club doubling as a trust exercise (Triplets)
From: [personal profile] sarajayechan
This was one of our best MSTs. XD We need to add TFLNs and joke about food porn more often. (Maybe next time we can have the Striaton Triplets spork a fic!)

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Sorakh28 aka The Fangirl

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